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BigBadMatt

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Resolute

6 min read
Well, i said it before, but finally i am feeling better. This damn chest cold keeps coming back. I'm convinced i've produced enough phlegm & mucous to keep the kleenex company in business for at least a decade, and consumed enough cough & cold medicine to kill all but the nastiest of viruses. But, i feel nearly human (a decent enough accomplishment for me!)
During my extended convalescence, i created a few resolutions for the new year. While my expectations of achieving all, or even any, of these goals is rather low, i thought i'd share them here in the hopes of giving them some legitimacy. So, not necessarily in any order of priority, here they are...

1.Take more photos. This really is a high-priority. My quantity, and as a result, quality of my photos has degraded in my opinion, and this needs to change. I have to accept that my camera sucks, and just snap away.
2.Get the hell back to work! This has several sub-resolutions attached. namely, i have to get back in shape. My knee, and some seriously nasty weather, have been an impediment, but we should have a small amount of extra money soon, which may help fund a gym membership (i need to work on cardio, and low-impact weight lifting the most)
3. Buy a new, fun daily driver. I went into this in an earlier journal entry, and have received some great feedback. Right now i am hoping to find a nice, older Audi or Evo. But, we will have to see what's available when the time comes.
4. Cross off a couple of big photo projects. I've had a few ideas kicking around in my head for awhile, most were dependent on certain factors outside my control (low funds, scheduling conflicts, health problems, etc) I have been wanting to take a couple of all-day trips into the city, mostly just shooting random interesting stuff at first, but i have a couple of more abstract ideas i want to try out. With my new light meter and portable reflector/diffuser (thanks Santa!), they should be fairly easy to accomplish
5. Get Weird again. Much of my adult life has been a mix of boring, mundane drudgery, and absolutely bizarre, random, hard to comprehend oddness. I thrive on the unusual. The "freaky" people are the ones i've always identified best with. The odd, offbeat, unusual, cast offs & outcasts, stoners, junkies, your various low-level criminal element, drag queens, butch lesbians, and of course good old fashioned nerds & geeks. I easily seem to befriend homeless & crazies, artistic types, quasi-intellectuals, and so on. I miss the simple joy of not having any idea what's about to happen, and having no control over the situation. I hate predictability. So, i guess this resolution is all about just doing what i do best. Going someplace where there are a lot of strange people, consuming alcohol and/or caffeine, and going along for the ride
6. Get Boo Spayed. I really, really hate to do it. But she needs it done. Nothing philosophical or deep about this one, it just needs to be done.
7. Try to get on Jeopardy. I am awesome when it comes to random trivia and abstract thought, and always wanted to go on a game show like Jeopardy. I'm taking the next test (hopefully). So, this one might happen!
8. Buy a new camera. Pretty self explanatory. My crossover camera takes decent pics when it's working right, but it kinda sucks. It's like one of those really boring cars with an automatic transmission, that will let you "shift" gears. And, it has a tendency to freak out, and sometimes does not record photos onto the memory card. Lost a bunch i took of the Proviso hump yard's new 6 axle hybrid locos when it decided, without warning, not to record the shots i took. Pretty pissed about that...
9. Grow my hair out. I have kept my head nearly shaved for probably a decade or more. But since November, instead of not shaving (i already have a mustache & beard), i just let my hair grow. It's getting pretty bushy looking, but i am going to just let it go at least until after lent. Just for the hell of it.
10. Learn a new language. I dabble in learning bits and pieces of different languages all the time. I learned some gaelic for a bit (the words are easy enough, but pronouncing them is too damn hard). I used to be able to speak spanish more or less when i worked on construction sites (came in handy), but i forgot most of it. When i focus, and try to use it, i pick up and retain german fairly well. But it's not exactly something i come across very often, and if i don't use it, i lose it. I really love nearly all things japanese, the language is confusing but taken in small bits & pieces it's manageable. They have several forms of writing that are easy for westerners to use, and tend to use western numbers frequently. Also, many japanese people speak at least some english, which makes communication less intimidating. One of my bucket list items is to visit Japan, so i am really trying to learn at least some of the language, and have even been practicing kanji writing (it's simplified japanese characters, but it's still fairly intricate and time consuming to write)

Well, that's the top-ten list for now. It may be amended throughout the year as i cross off some items (not effing likely), give up on others, or just remove some and add new ones. We shall see!
Anyway, happy new years everybody. I know January 1st is just an abstract concept, a random day with no true significance (especially to people that don't even follow our calendar). Still, here's hoping you all have a decent 2013!
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WTF?!

1 min read
So, my knee is hurt for real. I've been dealing with the pain for awhile, popping advil when it acted up but still staying fully active. But today i can barely put weight on it, and if it doesn't feel better i'll have to get it looked at. Without insurance, it's a frightening prospect. Just when i was getting in pretty good shape too! I've lost a LOT of weight, my upper body strength is coming back, and my back feels pretty good. And worst of all, it looks like i won't be able to get out and shoot on Sunday like i've been planning. Sorry for the pity party, but i am just genuinely pissed off!
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Yup! Just a quicky (for me at least). I had to drop Boo off at the groomers bright and early saturday, and planned on wandering around the area taking photos and hopefully meeting up with E.P. eyepilot13.deviantart.com/ at Bensenville at some point. But since i was out and about, my mom wanted me to get the oil in the car changed. Since she was willing to pay for it, and i would need to buy a filter, oil, and container to drain it into, plus get the low ass van up on jackstands so i can squeeze under it, i swallowed my pride and agreed. After dropping off my puppy (who was very upset and broke my heart), i looked and called around to find a shop with a decent reputation. After calling and visiting about a dozen places around S-Burg, and realizing that Boo would likely be done soon (and no way am i going to make her wait for one moment longer than necessary!) i gave up, and headed for Proviso to see what was new at my alma mater, see if anyone cool was around, and maybe pick up a new timetable and any swag i could find.
I get to the admin building, which is between the Global II intermodal facility's entrance and the hump leads. A string of really battered but neat cars are sitting at the top of the hump, including some old beat up ex SP junk. I snap a couple of shots off when my mom calls, telling me to just go to "gasp" jiffy lube and let some highschool dropout eff up the van. Fine, whatever. I take my time, swing by the diesel ramp to see if anybody i knew was around (nope), got some photos of power on the West end and some bizarre experimental intermodal trailers (i'll post a pic soon), as well as the spare traction motors, a badly exposed photo of an endcab switcher on the East end of the ramp, and even more traction motor sets. Swung up to Yard 9, snapped some pics of the absolutely ridiculous number of road power being stashed up there, along with some NS power picking up or dropping off a transfer (possibly the road railer train), and one of our old Jeeps, all torn up with a flat tire and a rather nasty gash in the C pillar (how the hell does THAT happen?).
Oil gets changed by seemingly cool and competent techs for once, and i head back east. Stop at bensenville, get stuck by an effing auto rack moving maybe 5mph at best. Arrive at the Metra stop on the East end of the yard, ain't crap going on and no EP. It's just about 1300, so i head east to see what's happening on the old Wisconsin Central. See a rather surly Canadian National MoW crew blocking both tracks and realize nuttin happenin there today! And these guys look pissed about working on a saturday, and i figure they didn't want some fat guy taking their pictures. So i press on down Belmont, looking for anything. Cars, architectural stuff, interesting scenes, anything. Snap a couple of cool storefronts before realizing i am at Harlem! Time was short, so i headed towards home just as i get the call to pick up Boo. So, i set what may be a record time getting to Schamburg from Harlem and North Avenue, grab the pup, and the groomers don't seem too happy. I didn't even get the customary "oh, she was such a good girl!", so i figure she was not cooperative. She still wasn't feeling too good, and even today she is really "off". I think, or at least hope, she is going into an early heat since her sister seems to be. And i think she is just miserable. All she wants to do is sleep and be held. And tonight, she was whimpering and begging me to go to bed early! She never does that! When we headed to bed, she was acting like when she's super excited to go for walkies. She doesn't seem to be in pain, and keeps liking her lower stomach area which seems a little bloated. So, maybe she just needs some chocolate and some sex & the city dvds...
Oh, and super exciting stuff! Got a letter from the UP in the mail, i assumed it was either a request/demand for me to return my issued gear (good luck with THAT!), or notice of an investigation or possibly a lovely note saying "your fired, turn in your crap and GTFO", i was afraid to open it. But, amazingly, it was my new I.D. and federal license! Uncle Pete is grandfathering us old farts as qualified conductors/engineers, avoiding having to re-train and re-qualify us under the stricter guidelines of the new Federal Regulation 49, part 242, which calls for way more difficult training and high qualification standards for new trainmen. I've been shitting bricks trying to get back to work before the mandate went into effect in september or october, which would make it a huge pain the butt to return. But as a federally licensed trainman, it will be damn near impossible to dismiss me for stupid crap. It will cost the railroad way too much money to replace me! And being licensed and qualified (and with an excellent service, safety, and efficiency record), i'd be a hot commodity for other railroads. Plus, the new rule requires two licensed crew members in each locomotive, so the main fear of being replaced by PTC and losing our jobs is a lot less likely (phew!). We should also have better bargaining power when negotiating our contracts with the carriers, meaning it will be harder to push us around. We might also be able to get the federally mandated days off like most of us road crews have been pushing for since probably the steam days. But there is also just a certain amount of pride in being licensed. And my old ID expired this month, making me nervous that i'd be terminated or forced into a physical evaluation or face being let go and unable to go on company property without a valid ID card. But, i'm legal now! That was a huge weight off my shoulders.
Speaking of feeling lighter, i'm very slowly getting into better shape. I need to do some real cardio work though, and build up my upper body. That means joining a gym... I walk a bare minimum of half a mile a day, at a brisk pace, no matter what. If i don't walk Boo before we go to bed, she won't sleep the night, and will usually have to get up at the worst possible time to do her business. So, we both get our exercise. The vast majority of the physical work that you do as a rail is walking, usually on less than ideal surfaces, often at night, and in foul weather. So a little stroll at about 0130, even if we have to wait for a lull in a storm or brave a blizzard, is pretty good for me. Some days i take her sister out earlier, and we will do anywhere from a mile and a half or more, across the fields and up a steep hill or two. But as far as weight training, all i have are a pair of 20lb dumb bells, and not a lot of room to use them. I damaged my rotator cuff cleaning up after the 2011 blizzard, and those relatively heavy free weights make my shoulder act up too easily. Plus, when i get used to twenty pounds, i can't really go up from there. You can only repeat so many reps at 20lbs before it stops working!
Well, enough of all that. Thanks for the faves on the photos i've put up already, and i should have at least one or two new ones tomorrow, most likely. Thanks to my newest stalker, tomredlion.deviantart.com/ It's nice to meet you! Glad you like my stuff enough to follow me and all that! Damn train pics are going to make me a celebrity soon, i swear! up to 35 watchers i think! Think i went six months or more when i first joined DA without a single follower, and if a photo received two faves i was shocked. Now it's rare when something doesn't get fave bombed. Pretty amazing!
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Kind of an unusual and odd thing to ask, but does anybody out there remember a video game, believe it was on PS1 in the late 90's, involving giant space domes and futuristic cities with a Tron meets Blade Runner feel, where you fly a kind of hovercar/fighter jet police vehicle, trying to stop giant robots & stuff? To refuel or re-arm or whatever, you could land at little elevated stations and change armaments possibly. Sometimes you coordinated with another ship for some missions, or you would just randomly patrol at times i think. I know it's a vague description, but that's the best i can do at the moment. I can't remember the name and google has not been much of a help. It wasn't a particularly popular or noteworthy game, but it was pretty fun, challenging, and odds are it has a small cult following. Thanks for any help anybody can give me!
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I'm pretty excited lately! My puppy is apparently getting over her adolescent rebellious phase, i sold some old junk for almost $40 the other day, got $25 for my birthday, and i might have a buyer for a pair of HO scale locomotives i bought a couple years ago and have no real use for (i got a great deal on them, so i'm selling them well under the current market value). If that deal goes right, it should net me almost $200 for my "discretionary" fund. Boo's rabies shot is due, so some of the money will go towards that. I'm also planning a trip to the Illinois Railroad Museum in Union, so some of the cash would go towards admission, batteries, maybe a second memory card, fuel, & food. I would also like to do something nice for my mom since she hasn't been feeling to well lately. I also have another model locomotive up for sale, which could potentially bring in an extra $100 or so. After not really generating an income in quite awhile, the prospect of having a little spending money is a real thrill! Kinda sad if i think about it, but at least i have a chance of getting back to work real soon!

Another super exciting possibility is having a new puppy in the house! Well, only for a short while. A friend of my sister's has a pair of i think Maltese mix dogs, and apparently they aren't fixed... So, if they have a little girl, it is going to my aunt in San Diego. She loves little dogs, and this one shouldn't get to be any more than ten pounds. By comparison, my little shih-poo is pushing twenty five i believe (and she's not fat!). While it's most likely that my aunt will fly here to pick up the puppy, an alternate plan is to send me out to Sunny Eggos with the pup, meet her at the airport (she works there), hang out for a bit, then fly back. Of course i'd bring a camera, and if there was time i'd like to get some pics of the bay (it's just a short walk across the employee lot and a busy road to reach the water). So, that's exciting! I could really go for a change of scenery, and even a short layover at Lindberg would be fun between three hour flights on a 737 or A320 (San Diego can't handle anything bigger than a 757, i believe. Most service is in smaller liners)

Soooo, yeah, super exciting stuff! In addition, thanks everybody for your faves & comments, i always appreciate the support and enjoy answering technical questions like a big shot. I have enjoyed some suggestions on improving a couple of my photos, and a couple are pretty promising. B&W vexes me, so i tend to shy away from it. But i might have a black & white revision of at least one image coming soon. I haven't been totally happy with it yet, but it's getting there. My editing site keeps effing up on me though, and my laptop is still in retardo mode so i have to do it on my slow-ass desktop. But, it's getting there...

So in conclusion, thanks everybody again, please forgive my fave-whoring by submitting some stuff to a couple of groups (i can't help it, i'm weak! And i enjoy the broad range of comments and observations, though responding to all the new faves is a P.I.T.A). Hope you all are well, and keep up the cool artwork!
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